Spring Is On Its Way :)

I can smell it! Spring is coming. Although it is only 20 degrees here right now, I still know that spring is on its way. I'm so ready to take my winter coat home and leave it there. I don't want to keep wearing that awful thing anymore. So I'm thinking that if I just leave it there, the weather will stay nice. I was very pleased with this winter, we had a few really good snows and I got to go sledding successfully without tearing any ligaments this year. So I consider that progress.
So I feel like lately I've been living on countless countdowns and really not in the moment. Which might not be the best thing. I feel like I could be missing out on stuff that is going on right now because I'm only thinking about whatever is next. So I've been trying to focus on what is happening today and making it all count. *And whenever I think of that I always think of the part in Titanic when Jack hands Rose the note after dinner, "Make it count. Meet me at the clock."*
But even though I am living for today, here are a list of everything else that I can't wait for...
1: Friday! Start of Spring Break and I get to go home. My brother is coming to Lawrence to pick me up which should be really fun because we don't get to hang out that much even when I am home because he is always off getting himself into shenanigans. And also on Friday I get to see other amazing people. LIZ, hopefully Steph and Jess and Swish.
2. Next Wedneday: I get to hopefully go to Springfield and see China with her mom. I'm really excited cause she has already come to see me twice and I haven't been there once so it will be really cool.
3. End of school: Cause then I can come home for more than just a few weeks and get a job (hopefully at WOF) and take a break from thinking so much. And just be with my friends.
4. May in Colorado: My cousin is graduating and we are going to the party. I'm pumped cause I haven't seen my family in a year and I want to see my new baby cousins.
5. RAGBRAI: I missed it last year and I'm sooooo ready to get back there. And it will be soo much better this year cause I have people my age going lol. More specifically Liz and hopefully Emma. So it will be awesome.
And then I don't want to think about what happens after the end of July. I hope this summer doesn't go too fast. And hopefully if I go just one day at a time, it will.

I'm sitting in our lounge area in the union and there is this guy sleeping on the chair next to me and I'm laughing. But then I realize that I did the exact same thing last week. So maybe I should just hush lol.

Happy Spring Everyone :)

Homework

Let's just say that homework sucks. And I know I really hate the homework that I have in the classes that I hate and that aren't even for my major. English 203 Topics in Women Authors, yea it already sounds stupid doesn't it. I have already had 4 years of this class basically in high school. We read a book, talk about the symbolism and shit in class, and then write a paper. It is mind numbbing. You know what I really want to do, learn about the muscles in the hand and and ligaments acting on the knee. I just want to study the things that interest me and not this stupid shit. And my public speaking class where I have to write speeches and give 4 of them in this semester, I HATE THAT!! None of that stuff interests me. I would be such a good student if I could just take classes that I was interested in. Okay that's my rant on homework for stupid classes.

All I can think about is Friday and how awesome this concert is going to be!! I have been listening to the CD (much thanks to CP) and I have all those songs just floating around in my head. I can't wait.

Also I just recently learned that the Backstreet Boys have a phone line where you can call in and leave them messages. I think that is awesome. I haven't left a message but I have called like all the time because they leave messages for me. And I guess not just for me but I like to think when Nick Carter says "love you", he is saying it to me. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to learn about this.

YAY!

Okay I thought I was gonna come on here and rant about something but honestly I don't have anything to complain about. My friend told me the other day, "You know Melinda, you just always seem to be happy and in a good mood and laughing." And I realized, they are right. I'm finally to the point where I am having fun and not worrying about little stuff anymore. Heck, sometimes I don't even worry about the big stuff, stuff that kinda needs me attention and worry. Like my physics test, that I just got a 40% on. Yea, I should be freaking out and studying my ass off, but I'm not. I just study for as long as my mind can handle it and then I go to sleep. The only thing I'm worried about it is getting more sleep tonight than I have in the past three nights. I thought I could revert back to my old ways and go to sleep at 2 in the morning and get up at 6:45 and be just fine throughout the day and do that for the whole week and then catch up on the weekend. But I don't think I can do that anymore. I did it for 3 nights in a row and this morning I was really feeling it. It took a lot of energy to get out of bed this morning. I just had to keep telling myself that the sooner I get up and get this day over with, then the sooner it will be Friday. And now you are thinking, man I want it to be Friday too. Then the weekend will be here and I can sleep a bit more and get caught up on homework and studying. But I am really just excited for Friday.
And you ask yourself, why especially Friday??
And I will let you
You see, I kinda have a date on Friday.


**Editor's note. I wrote this last Thursday but never published it cause my computer was being an ass and I just realized that it didn't post.

My Mood

So I feel like half of this song is perfect right now. The verses pretty much. Cause let's face it, I am the girl who laughs the loudest. And I hate to be alone. And if I'm with people I feel like there shouldn't be silence because that doesn't make sense to me. If I'm with my friends or family or whoever, then I want to talk to them as much as I can. I just never people who were so different from me. Who don't mind being quiet or being alone.

Sober lyrics

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Ahhhh-Ahhh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oh, I'm finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe up high,
Nothing can touch me
Why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence..
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?

Ahhhh-Ahhh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come play"
I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe up high,
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,
Spinnin' round, spinnin' round, spinnin' round
Looking for myself,
Sober
Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,
Spinnin' round, spinnin' round, spinnin' round
Looking for myself,
Sober

When it's good, then it's good
It's all good 'till it goes bad
'Till you try to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again!
Broken down in agony
Just trying to find a friend
Ohhh

Whoahhh

I'm safe up high,
Nothing can touch me
Why do I feel this party's over?
Whoahhh
No pain inside
You're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

Whoahhh

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
Why do I feel this party's over?
Why do I feel this party's over?
Whoahhh
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?
Why do I feel this party's over?

Will I ever feel this good sober?

Day After

Well it is Feb 15. And it's safe to say that the day-of-love turned out like it always does. Disappointing. Even though I didn't have the display at school where everyone gets flowers and it's obnoxious, I still had a shitty day.
Oh well, that day is gone and today is something completely different. I think it is finally happening. I am starting to find my place at this school. I have some really good friends and for the most part they are okay with me.
Even though I am feeling better here, it is still hard to accept that things are so different with friends at home. Everyday it gets easier but I still feel like I was robbed from great friendships that didn't have enough time. I felt like I met or really hung out with some awesome people in my senior year and it's stupid that I only had one solid year with them. But I know that it doesn't mean we will never be friends. And it will get better. Just wasn't expecting all of that I guess
Okay that was all.

Thursdays...

Okay so here I am. Hanging out in the Union in between classes. And I really have to pee. But that is besides the point. But really, do these things have a point? Not sure. I like them tho.
I like my Thursday schedule because I only have two classes and they both are fun. I never thought my public speaking class would be fun but it is! I think it is because of the teacher. He is really funny but I feel bad for him because no one ever laughs at his stuff. I think because it is at 8 in the morning and half of the class is asleep. Actually probably most of the class. I'm just used to getting up at this time now so I'm not that tired. But he really reminds me of myself because he will be going along with something that pertains to speeches and then all of a sudden he will crack himself up and stop and tell us the story that he is thinking of. And I do that all the time!!!!
Okay that reminds me on this thing that was bothering me the other day. I have finally found some really good friends here at school and I'm slowly being able to be myself around them - but not totally. But we were at dinner the other night and and they were talking about stuff and some of it was really hilarious and I was laughing. And they were making fun of me (naturally) and I'm really okay with that now. (I used to get pretty offended when people would point out all this stuff like I'm not the smartest and even got the comment once "How did you even get into college?" But I don't care so much anymore. I'm trying to not take stuff so personally) But anyway, it was really funny so I was laughing. And I know I have this thing where I have a hard time stopping laughing when something is like really funny. And I could laugh about something for like 10 minutes. (Kinda also how people get really annoyed when I watch the Gag Reel on movies 5 times in a row or keep rewinding something that is awesome - it just doesn't stop being funny for me) But they were all like "Melinda just settle down." And I was settled. I was just having fun and enjoying my time. I don't know. Maybe that is something I should stop. But I just think it is so much better to laugh and have a good time then go through life with a stick shoved up your ass. And I seem to have some friends that are okay with it. So I probably won't change how I am. Sorry if you were looking for something different. I just want to have a good time and laugh. And I know I can laugh kinda loudly. I know I'm loud. But someone told me that is because "I have such a big personally and if I wasn't loud, I would burst." That was really told to me, that is a truth fact. But I thought that was really nice of them to say because they can be pretty pissed at me at times when I have trouble shutting up. Well that was a bunch of rambleing on stuff that doesn't matter hahaha. See I'm sitting here in the Union writing this and I'm cracking myself up. I try to have calming, soft music on my iPod during the day so that I won't get so hyper but stuff still seeps out. And I really have to pee. But I don't have a clue where the bathrooms are in this place.
Okay I'm back (You didn't even know I was gone) But I found the bathroom, it was just around the corner and I got some food. It will be 3 before I'm back in my room so I won't have time to eat. I have observation hours today so yea. But I think I'm done for the day. That was a lot I think. Anyway, I hope everyone has a great Thursday. :)

Day One

So here is my blog. I don't really have a theme for it really yet. But who knows what will happen.
Anyway, I don't know about anyone else but I feel like January went by so fast and now it is finally February and it is going so slow. Probably cause spring break is next month so it is going to take forever to get here.
Maybe a theme for my blog will be a randomism a day. I don't know. And I'm not even sure that I will compose every day. I will for sure try tho. Can you subscribe to other people's blogs on this thing? I haven't figured it all out yet.
I was told recently that I need to be more mature because I was talking about all the jobs that I want to have. And I don't care. I always sound like Peter Pan cause I never want to grow up. And yea all you reading this know me and I'm like a big kid and maybe a little loud at times. But I want to have fun every day and I know so many adults who hate their jobs so I want to enjoy mine. And I have lots and lots of ideas. I want to be an athletic trainer right now - like top one. Then second would be physical therapist. And the reason for that ordering is cause I really like working with a team ever since I helped with softball and not really so much into working with old people who have broken their hips. And I want to be a researcher doing a lot of different things like equipment for a sports team and see what works and what is comfortable and all that jazz. I want to work in a bike and sports store. I flippin love RAGBRAI, the bike ride across Iowa every summer, and I always think I could get more stuff for my bike. And you see, if I have all these different jobs I could do each like twice a week and I would never get sick of it. It's the perfect plan.
Ok now I would like to start a list of people that I want to meet:
Barack Obama: I did see him at Drake in Iowa but it's not the same as getting to talk to him personally. That would be awesome
Michael Phelps: Who cares if he smoked pot? I don't. And I don't care that he has weird ears or disproportional body or whatever else people say that is wrong with him. I think he's great
Backstreet Boys: I don't care. I can meet them however many times as I want.
Conan O'Brien: I think he's flipping hillarious and he totally acts like everyone from my family and he never tells anyone that they are too loud.
(I think I want to meet other loud people so I can be with my people)
Chuck Norris: Obvious reasons
Spiderman: I know he's out there. I WILL find him
Seth Rogen: I just want to hear his laugh in person
Jason Segel: I would request for him to sing You Just Got Slapped.
Josh Turner: My little darling is a FIRECRACKER. Best voice ever
Nicholas Sparks: Whatever, I love his books. I think he's awesome
I know there are a lot more my mind is just drained.

Anyway I think that's good for the first post. I'll do my best to return often.
Hahaha I just had a "Dear Diary" moment. Anyway,
PEACE LOVE (I should insert my own word here)(I'll think about it)